Life without Facebook

“ I’m going so fast that I can’t slow down

It’s hard to get up when you’re spinning round and round

I’d tell you the news but nothin’s changed

I’d sing you a song but they blew it away”

        -California Waiting by Kings of Leon

I can’t even sum up Facebook in two words put together ( Face and Book) , the way Mark Zukerberg did thinking, ‘ Hey, this is Facebook, a simple name to simplify your life.’ Oh Mark, I wish it was that simple. While driving in a fast lane, I might just pop in my password and take a stroll down my Wall thinking if I can’t call up my best friend, I could always write on her wall right? This process might also gain some attention towards the new Display Picture I just uploaded (especially from my ex who  has ‘un-friended’ me but somehow still is in the friend list of my best friend). See, how useful Facebook is?

Happy Facebook Year

                                                  

So as I sit with my coffee mug and try to enjoy the bitter Delhi winters, my phone breaks out singing “too close” by Alex Clare and a known name flashed on the screen, it was Baani. She couldn’t get her head around some new facebook settings and she flipped out. So I logged on to see what was bothering her and I realized that facebook had a ribbon on my timeline which said “2013 year review: Top twenty events.” I decided to click on it and find out my year’s review. It stated out some pretty major changes in my life in the current year. My recent travel stories and my freshman year of college were amongst the top events, followed by some posts which gained maximum likes and comments. So that’s how facebook summed up an entire year of my life.

The Face-book of life

Photograph was a rarity before facebook. As and when I remember facebook I remember hundreds and thousands of faces swarming in front of my eyes. I remember them just the way they look on facebook. It might be their 10 year old snapshot or a mug shot or the pic of a baby in cradle. The baby can be their new born or sometimes their sister’s / brother’s new born. There have been incidents when I got utterly confused on seeing an image as I was not sure whether to wish them congrats on the pic or message and be sure first! Whatever you click goes in to Facebook. Everybody thinks he is an ace photographer once he receives a couple of good compliments. I am not complaining here. I am guilty myself as I click a picture and assume it has come out gorgeously! Posting and liking photographs is everyone’s priority task on FB.  

Before Facebook

What we used to do before Facebook??? This question made me think for a while…. It felt as if it’s so integral part of our life that we can’t get a proper answer or remember what we actually used to do! It triggered another teaser in my brain; when did I started using Facebook?? And the answer is in 8^th standard class, secondary section. Well I might get the exact date and month too if I check it on Facebook timeline, but I would go with this.

Life before Facebook

BEFORE FACEBOOK:

Phone rings

Payal: Hi Geeta

Geeta: Hi wassup

Payal: Hey what are you doing tomorrow? Would you like to stay over at my place? I will make your favourite pav bhaji and we can watch the season 10 of Friends together... Parents are out of town.

Geeta: Wow... sounds great. Even I have to tell you about this guy from work who asked me out today.

Payal: What are you saying! Is it Pramod, the new joinee? Tell me more about him, do you have his photograph? How does he look like? Where does he stay...

Geeta: Relax, relax... (whispers), tomorrow I will tell you all about him... oh and I don't have his pic yet, but I will try to source something from the HR friend Jigna, she has his resume and pics na.

And the next day they chatted and giggled all night through. Geeta described Pramod and Payal visualised his appearance. Not so tall, not so smart, has a moustache, but seems to be really cute... They met Pramod together the next weekend and had a great time! By the way Pramod tagged along a friend,  Akash, who later asked Payal out!

AFTER FACEBOOK:

EVERYTHING HAPPENS ON FACEBOOK:

Payal updates her status message: Parents out of town :)

Payal sends Geeta a PM: Hey wht r u doin tom? Would u like 2 stay over @ my place? I will make your fav pav bhaji n v can watch de season 10 of Friends together... Parents r out of town!

Geeta replies to Payal: Hey yeah, saw ur status message... liked it too. Let's do it. Even I hv 2 tell u abt this guy fm work who asked me out today.

Meanwhile Payal's status message gets 8 likes and  4 comments.

Comment 1 from Pradeep (uncle): lol... even you should have come with them to my place beta, it has been so long we saw you... chachi has been asking about you. And did you meet Sahil? Bhabhi said you have been avoiding.

Comment 1 gets 9 Likes.

Comment 2 from Agnes: Hey who's Sahil... tell us more

Comment 3 from Megha: Hmm parents are out and how abt Sahil ;)

Comment 4 from Payal: @Agnes, @Megha, nothing yaar, my chachu is just kidding... Sahil's a distant cousin

Payal quickly changes her Facebook privacy settings where Pradeep chachu can't see her posts anymore.

Payal PMs Geeta: Wht r u saying! Is it Pramod, de new joinee? Pls send me his facebook profile link... lemme see how he looks like

Geeta: Here it is - https://www.facebook.com/prramodarrora24613, he's not looking too good in de dp but he's really cute

And with a few minutes, Payal checks out Pramod's profile and pics. She scrolls down until September 2013 and checks out all his photos. She notices he has posed with one particular pretty girl in most of the pics tagged as Neha. She goes to Neha's profile. Neha's profile page has umpteen pics of Pramod, some quite 'couple' types. Payal gets inquisitive and scrolls down till August 2013.

Neha's status message then read: Best day of my life... found my soulmate... I know u'll want to know more... for now, let's just call him P (Pyaar)... (blushing).

On further research, Payal sees that Neha's relationship status is "committed", she has a lot of pics of her several weekend trips with Pramod and Pramod's relationship status is "single".

Payal sends Geeta a PM: Check out Pramod's photos with Neha, check out Neha's profile... looks like Pramod is seeing her... you should teach him a lesson. Don't worry, he's not too good for you. We'll talk about it tom when you come over. Boss is back. TTYL.

Geeta is shocked. A heartbreak via Facebook! She checks out both Pramod and Neha's profile and pics. Payal seems to be right. And as she wonders why he asked her out, she gets a PM from Pramod.

Pramod: Hey Payal, can't wait to meet you this weekend!

Geeta is infuriated and does not reply.

And the next day Geeta and Payal spent all time cursing Pramod and discussing how 'all men are the same' over pav bhaji and lot of tissue papers.

- Anuradha Khanna Pentapalli
(annucool15.blogspot.in)

Moral policing on Social networks

Social network has become the outlet for rants which can be shared with at least 500 odd friends and get little solace and peace. However there has to be little control on what and when to post. There were many social network crimes or cyber-crimes since the advent of Facebook , twitter, Myspace and many more social networking sites in to people’s lives.