Tuesday, 6 May 2014

30 things to do before you turn 30

I had been reading a lot of write-ups like "25 things to do before 25" , "20 things to do before 20" ," 50 places to travel before you die" ,"10 places to shit before you get caught" .

So I was wondering whether the writers had done any of it themselves, I have not done any of it so ...voila...since I am approaching the right side of 40 so thought why not I share my list...

                                         30 things to do before you turn 30

1. Travel alone on a fixed budget

                                                    this is a crash course on wealth management and you will have great knowledge of "directions" henceforth..

2. Stalk somebody - like SRK ala Darr , will enhance your observation skills tremendously and you will always be aware of your surroundings..

3. Go on a golgappa eating spree till you pass out-  because they are the best gift from Indians to the world after "0"..

4. Date atleast 10 people - now this is easy for girls because when they wake up in the morning there are 10 people standing outside their house ready to relinquish their wealth on them . So for guys if you achieve this target then there is no "sales" target which you cant achieve.

5. Live in Mumbai for a year- because it's the only city in the country which will leave an impact on you when you leave the city, for good or bad..

6. Live in Delhi for a year- because it's the Capital, simple.

7. Go on a road trip with your friends -   You will come back as a semi professional mechanic and only once you spend a night with your friends you will know their real "Nature"...

8. Go to Jail-    After third degree torture the most neglected part of your body (your butts) will become your most prized possesion.

9. Fall in love -   As Mirza Ghalib once told me " Sheesha ho ya dil ho , aakhir toot jaata hain"...

10. Learn cooking and swimming -   These are the only 2 things which will help you when you are stranded on an island.

11. Get wasted - because we all want a story to be told to our children.

12. Get chased by a Dog- if you survive that then challenge Usain Bolt for a "duel"..

13. Gatecrash a wedding- that will be your "in your face" moment to the guy who said "there are no free lunches in the world"..

14. Live in a hostel-  because that is where you will find your best friend.

15. Attend random meetups-  it will help you in perfectioning the art of "faking it"...

16. Go back to your school once - because it was the best time of your life , as simple as that.

17. Attend your ex's wedding-  after seeing the love of your life in somebody else 's arms no calamity will affect you ever.

18. Throw a party inviting all your acquaintances -  you will be surprised to see that so many people want free booze.

19. Deactivate your FB account for a week-  you will discover new means of communication and also discover "life"...

20. Get Rejected- only after that you will discover yourself , just like Kangna did in "Queen"..

21. Go to a theatre class-  you will learn how to say 1 sentence in 3 different ways..

22. Learn martial arts-  what else will save you from your future spouse?

23. Join a NGO-  how else will your CV be different from the rest of the clones?

24. Go on a blind date- because we all love surprises !

25. Buy adult magazines and dnt throw them -  you will discover hiding places in your house which you were not aware of..

26. Watch all english art movies-  because you need to sound intellectual in a group of Akshay kumar's fans..

27. Have a pet -   who else will listen to you when you are going through quarter-life crisis and bouts of depression..

28. Dont delete your hotmail account - one day it might be auctioned.

29. Buy a smartphone - there are 24 hours in a day , how are we supposed to waste them..?

30. If you did all these things you are on the verge of sainthood and you need to discard your body ...so you have to die ...and there is only one way where you can dance your way to Death.....

GET MARRIED............

Chetan Soni

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