Ricochet in Love

                                            

Many people equate love to certain objects they hold dear to their hearts but the essence of love is not the one that can be objectified.  One invests a lot of emotions, trust, honesty and their soul in a relationship. It’s like you carefully put one card on another to build the delicate house of cards and just when you’re about to achieve gratification for building such a fragile structure, a fraction of a second of distraction and all your dreams and expectations come crumbling down.

Every relationship starts with a silent promise of never letting go, a promise for being there forever. What is forever? Till the feeling stays? Or till you stay? No one has their dibs on forever because forever is a long time.  Being in love is living your perfect nightmare with your eyes wide open. You open yourself to being hurt, trusted, used, taken care of and loved. People tend to say they love from their hearts but I feel we love from our souls, the souls which we wear naked in front of our loved ones. You give the key to your soul to a person and they end up embezzling every corner of your existence.  And when the soul cannot cope up with the feeling of betrayal it turns to comfort in the arms of lies. These extended arms of temporary comfort form the base of a rebound relationship.

A rebound relation comes with a lot of baggage, almost as if it’s here to stay, the dishonored promises and the broken trust. The weak soul finds solace in the woven magic of a new dream. It never enables itself to walk past the fear of history coming back to ask for more. It’s like walking down a road which you chose and enjoyed but when you get tired you start looking for cars that pass by to find comfort in their car seats. Every relationship is self destructive; when we want it, it stays and when we need it, it leaves without saying goodbye. And these shades of grey in our lives compel us to turn to the directions which look black or white to us. The human need of finding stability in our lives is the one that forces us to rebound while running away from the demons of the past.

The need to find someone new after a break up is never about making ourselves feel better; it’s proving our broken ego to believe that our past has nothing to do with our future. In this make believe we often take hasty decisions and wear a new personality which we would want to be. Rebounds never help because we are chasing after an unattainable promise of being okay with what happened to us. We need to be open to being hurt and feel what every tiny bit of pain feels like. Because when this phase of hurtfulness is over, you’ll smile, not because you have to but because you can. There is a very thin line between needs and wants and a thinner line between what you believe and what you want to believe. So believe that you’ll be happy, believe that you’ll find love, believe that you’re loved and believe in you. 

Because what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. 

Tanya