A
lost friend always hurt us. Broken friendship is like a broken glass, pick it
up any time , no escaping the cut. I am not going to bring objectivity into
this article but cerebration.
How
do I enter into a situation where I become incapable of holding onto a
friendship?
Irony?
Another person is doing it good. She is balancing the friendship with the same
person exceptionally ( suspiciously) in a better way.
Another
irony? They weren’t even that good friends on the first place.
Pour
some more irony ? My friend is not in the same country as me and this other
friend. So, we both have no tangibility
with this lost friend of mine ( except Facebook)
Question-
How did I fail when I was the best friend still carrying a pen stand with our
photos on it and the so called close friend was never even on the fond list of
my lost friend ?
Reason- She went away to do great things and I had a
fallout.
It
never itched me, my position in life after school, never gave me a bad burn
until I had a break up with my lost friend. It wasn’t anything official. Do you
ever feel as if you are getting these reverberations from people, like some
kind of vibes and it really bad vibes from really good people ( or supposedly
good? ). You are so embarrassed to even mention them because they pretend
insecurities and how much you hate when someone get this opportunity to dare
say or insinuate that you are “ jealous”. Was I jealous? You might not believe it but I really wasn’t.
I was so proud of this friend because she was this kind of character, one look
at her and you automatically lose the battle not out of spite but out of
love. I was so proud of her that I
didn’t realize that things were supposed to change.
Change.
Now,
I can be called as a fool to not to consider that friendship changes with
change of place. You can’t expect things to be the same! Right? I don’t know. I
thought since I was the first person to know the news of her going ( she
credited me that much) , it never occurred to me- the change. Never did. It
didn’t take much time for me to realize the situation.
You see, I couldn’t turn into a fan of her. I
always had a place as ‘ friend’ not a ‘ fan’. I couldn’t post and repost and tip toe around her, so
that I get one ray of her sunlight.
Friendship
is between equals. When you say someone is you’re ‘ friend’, he/ she
automatically becomes you’re equal. There is always this understanding, not
between two friends but between you and you’re self. So, if I ever go out, do
great things, my people will always care for me and be proud of me.
There can
never be doubt of such kind. The catch is it is I who is uprooting my
friendship with people who loves me. It is I, chasing my ambitions who need to
remember my friends when I get caught up in the stuff. Of course, they also
have to give me equal input but it is my responsibility also to miss to be
missed. Just because I am far, living a life different from and not understandable
by my people, how can I choose friends
on the basis of ‘ who still messages me even when I don’t reply’. I guess if I ask
my lost friend that why her but not me, she would say “ she stuck around”. How
can I explain to her, she was okay with whatever you gave her, I wasn’t because
I was your ‘ friend’ not a star struck fan. I guess it’s a common problem. People want
more fans as the ‘likers’ on the Facebook, not the friends with more childhood
memories and heartfelt gifts.
Namarita
Another great post! Keep it up Tiny Serval
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