Tuesday, 7 January 2014

Ricochet in Love


Many people equate love to certain objects they hold dear to their hearts but the essence of love is not the one that can be objectified.  One invests a lot of emotions, trust, honesty and their soul in a relationship. It’s like you carefully put one card on another to build the delicate house of cards and just when you’re about to achieve gratification for building such a fragile structure, a fraction of a second of distraction and all your dreams and expectations come crumbling down.

Every relationship starts with a silent promise of never letting go, a promise for being there forever. What is forever? Till the feeling stays? Or till you stay? No one has their dibs on forever because forever is a long time.  Being in love is living your perfect nightmare with your eyes wide open. You open yourself to being hurt, trusted, used, taken care of and loved. People tend to say they love from their hearts but I feel we love from our souls, the souls which we wear naked in front of our loved ones. You give the key to your soul to a person and they end up embezzling every corner of your existence.  And when the soul cannot cope up with the feeling of betrayal it turns to comfort in the arms of lies. These extended arms of temporary comfort form the base of a rebound relationship.

A rebound relation comes with a lot of baggage, almost as if it’s here to stay, the dishonored promises and the broken trust. The weak soul finds solace in the woven magic of a new dream. It never enables itself to walk past the fear of history coming back to ask for more. It’s like walking down a road which you chose and enjoyed but when you get tired you start looking for cars that pass by to find comfort in their car seats. Every relationship is self destructive; when we want it, it stays and when we need it, it leaves without saying goodbye. And these shades of grey in our lives compel us to turn to the directions which look black or white to us. The human need of finding stability in our lives is the one that forces us to rebound while running away from the demons of the past.

The need to find someone new after a break up is never about making ourselves feel better; it’s proving our broken ego to believe that our past has nothing to do with our future. In this make believe we often take hasty decisions and wear a new personality which we would want to be. Rebounds never help because we are chasing after an unattainable promise of being okay with what happened to us. We need to be open to being hurt and feel what every tiny bit of pain feels like. Because when this phase of hurtfulness is over, you’ll smile, not because you have to but because you can. There is a very thin line between needs and wants and a thinner line between what you believe and what you want to believe. So believe that you’ll be happy, believe that you’ll find love, believe that you’re loved and believe in you. 

Because what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. 



  1. Nice article Tanya! Relationships on the rebound somehow give me the image of a rubber ball.. it bounces u to a greater height for the first few times when it hits rock bottom.. but after hitting the ground a few times, the ball ultimately loses it's bounce. You can rebound only as much times in a given relationship and it differs from person to person. Sure your heart will be broken, but while on rebound when you learn that your partner/friendship is far from imperfect, and you learn to appreciate it that way. But in the end, you have nothing but forgiveness left after all is said and done and the embers die out. Well written! Keep the faith! :)

    1. Rebound relationships have various effects on various people. some find it a way to boost their ego, some find revenge in it and some see it as a way to get over your ex. either way it's about you and a past relationship. we plunge ourselves into new partnerships and continuously try to balance the cheap thrill of a new romance vs your ex relationship. you never really get over the previous relation and you jump into another and while sourness pours itself into the current relation, you are left heart broken and end up dealing with twice the pain.

      thank you :)

  2. Rebound relationship happens very quickly because people are in their most emotional and vulnerable states. The person who's been waiting for you all along might just be there at the right place at the right time to catch you.

    1. i agree. people do fall into rebounds at a very fast rate and then sometimes find love or heartache.


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