Parents

“I know you are going to make it”, said my father while I was going to enter the centre for my M.A. entrance examination. I had not been able to study anything at all. I barely got one day amidst my university exams and other high priority course entrances to prepare for this one. Papa wants me to get through this however. When I said “Papa, I don’t think you will have to wait too long, three hours is too much. I hardly know anything”. My Papa induced me with his faith. It somehow gave me a supernatural power; it made me believe in myself. My papa is my superhero indeed.

“It’s a funny thing about mothers and fathers. Even when their own child is the most disgusting little blister you could ever imagine, they still think that he or she is wonderful”. - Roald Dahl

All this while that i have been taking entrance exams i have seen one common thing- even after graduation we remain children, pampered little children of our parents. We are their big bag of dreams. All their hopes and aspirations lie in our life. They hardly live once we are born. They live, but not their life, they live for us. I have seen waving hands, broad smiles, hopeful faces standing in the cruel Delhi heat, waiting for three yours at a stretch while the ‘child’ is inside the building taking an exam.

What do i say about parents? They are the best. They are better than anyone else. Can one ever count the number of lovely, selfless things they do for us? And what do we do? We even forget sometimes that as we are growing up, they too are, we are heading to become young adults while they are growing old. They are growing senile and weak. They need us. But that is what makes them annoying. Right youngsters? They are not cool, they freak out too much, they are insecure, they think differently and most of all why do they act so needy all the time? Well, the answer is they need us. They need to smile in the days that they are old and weak. And that is our divine responsibility. The father needs his daughter to find him his glasses that he keeps in his pocket and forgets, the mother needs her to help her with her sari when her back has serious aching problems, the father needs the son to lend him a hand with all the mental load he had been bearing for the family all these years, the mother needs him to stand there and support her like she has fought for him with the whole world, like she has loved him more than anyone else ever. But we forget them. They become a burden, an annoyance. We get so irritated at times that we just want to run away, become independent and prove them “see we don’t need your money, your house”. But do you know who will be the happiest person on earth the day you become so self-sufficient that you earn your own money and build your own house? Your father and your mother. That’s a fact and no one can change it.

 “At first the infant, Mewling and puking in the nurse’s arms; Last scene of all … … … That ends this strange eventful history, Is second childishness and mere oblivion, Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything”.

Shakespeare’s description of the seven ages as it says, the infant is puking and crying and as it grows old it is once again like the puking, toothless, inexpressive child. When we were at the first stage our parents loved us, cared for us, nurtured us. But when they grow old, we often forget to look after them. While it is the best chance for all of us to actually look after them, as they are little children.

I am not generalizing anything neither am i being judgemental. But i am stating facts. This is basic human nature. When we start realizing we belong to two ideological sects, when our education starts to take over what our parents have been teaching us, we start drifting apart. However, have you ever wondered, each and every parent ensures that they get their children are better educated than themselves. And what it turns out to be? That is a funny story. We turn that ‘education’ against them.

We can’t change them. But that does not mean we shall not stay. They need us.

Go call them, go hug them. They need to hear your voice, see you smile, get your warmth. Their happiness lies in the most unmaterialistic things you can offer. And that is the beauty of this relationship.  

My parents hardly understand and support my dreams. That disheartens me. But I can also see parallely, my mom making me coffee when I wake up late in the night working on articles and stories, and my father always throwing new words in our conversations, so that i can develop my vocabulary. Yes, that is how parents are. They are your first superhero and they remain so all their life, in the meantime though we often forget that and start finding ‘better’ heroes, only to never find any eventually.

“Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body”. -Elizabeth Stone

Ojaswini